Living Brave in the Midst of Fear
To The One Who Is Paralyzed By Fear,
I remember when I began to miss out on childhood dreams I had so desperately wanted to transform into realities: to sing that solo, act in that play, or even walk through a crowd of people while flashing my smile rather than hiding my anxiety-flooded eyes. As I grew older, I wanted to be the more outgoing version of myself that I knew was hidden and captive to fear. I wanted to talk to that boy without completely shutting down, only to feel, moments later, pain surging through my heart as he walked away. Another missed opportunity. Fleeting fear had begun to make its home in my soul.
Fear grew to become more intentional and personal; sometimes it kept me from following God’s directions and obeying His voice in daily interactions. There were definitely times I answered, “Yes,” but I was unable to fully surrender and therefore missed out on many blessings. However, God kept faithfully calling me.
As I found myself once again torn between my excitement to live out the plans God had for me and my solidifying fear, tears began to flow. I was scared to follow through because of the damage already done to my soul. I believed the fear was stronger than me.
“Surely, God, You have picked the wrong gal.”
“No,” He answered. “I have chosen you.”
I wanted to believe that but I couldn’t shake the thought that maybe He was wrong.
God: 0
Fear: 1 (and counting)
I was so tired of letting fear control my life, but my mind was consistently bombarded with its signature taunt, “What if?”
What if I fail?
What if I fall?
What if I’m persecuted or rejected?
What if I’m humiliated or disgraced?
What if people are negative or don’t like me?
What if?
I loathed myself for letting fear become such a stronghold in my life. But, here’s the uncomfortable truth, friend. I was an unintentional player in fear’s game. I fled when it pursued. I surrendered when it overcame and subdued me. As much as I hated the cycle, it was familiar and I was comfortable with the routine.
I was dismayed to realize that fear had become a destructive, but familiar home for me. In many ways, it kept me safe, but it also kept me tethered to the shore. I wasn’t forced to venture out into turbulent waters. I never had to worry about a spotlight shining down on all of my flaws and insecurities. I didn’t expect myself to be brave and neither did others. Fear ran my life until God strengthened me to a point where I could begin to say, “Enough.”
I realized, I didn’t want to be lying in bed, breathing my last breath and looking back with regret on all of the missed chances God gave me to partner with Him in His will being done on earth. I wanted to live a life where fear was no longer in control, where it was no longer the voice I obeyed. I wanted to relentlessly pursue my Father’s heart, no matter the level of fear that it may bring. I wanted to trust Him in the middle of my trembling.
I wanted to be brave in the midst of fear, following God’s lead even when my knees knocked. I wanted to be a woman who walked forward with God while fear trailed behind, unseated from the driver’s seat. I wanted to be God’s warrior, equipped with His armor, in the spiritual battles I faced.
That’s my prayer for you too, dear reader.
Is your heart riddled with fear? Are you tormented by “what ifs”? Do you question your adequacy for the task God has laid before you? Do you wonder if someone else is better qualified? Are you scared to mess up or are you scarred with shame, remembering the times you began to follow God’s voice, got lost along the way, and turned back to fear’s beckoning?
Maybe you’re scared to try again because you can’t seem to get out of your past.
You’ve been-there-done-that-and-regret-it immensely, but you think that God would never want to use someone like you.
You look in the mirror and think, “I am not enough. I will never be enough.”
That was me. All me. Every fear. Every word. Every tear that was shed. Every reminder of my joy-crippling past. Fear had become my first name. My best friend. My security. My purpose.
So, hear me when I say, “You are not alone.” And, despite what anyone has ever told you, despite the lies you have believed for so long, God wants you. He wants you right now, where you are and as you are. He wants my heart riddled with countless fears, a joy-crippling past, insecurities and flaws. He wants all of me and all of you. Not because we are fearless and victorious. He wants us because we are His.
Run to Him. Let God take hold of that fear stronghold and loosen its grip. Let Him make you brave; bravery is not the absence of fear, but action and obedience in the midst of it. Life with the LORD is not free of fear. Life with the LORD is assurance that He is with you, even if your fears are realized. And that changes everything. Jesus said, “In this world you will have troubles but take heart. I have overcome the world.”
I want to encourage you to answer God’s calling on your life with the faith and bravery modeled by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3. After refusing to bow down to King Nebuchadnezzar,’s golden statue, they said, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand.” What faith, right?
They acted with bravery grounded in the faith of God’s protection and also rested in the assurance of His presence no matter what the outcome. If, for reasons only God knows, this were to be one of the times where He chose not to intervene, the men were still committed to obeying Him. They continued declaring to King Nebuchadnezzar, “But even if he does not [deliver us], we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” That’s faith that acknowledges our limited understanding of the spiritual realm and entrusts itself to the God who works all things, even the scary and painful ones, together for our good in the end.
The One who created the universe takes fear’s captives and transforms them into captivators of fear, able to live free from its control. God is the one who created our bodies and minds with the ability to feel scared. The emotion itself can be a valuable tool and often alerts you to genuine physical, emotional, or spiritual threats of danger. Don’t silence your fears. Listen to them and learn from them. And also, follow David’s example in Psalm 56:3 as he says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” When you are wrestling with the “what ifs” in your life, name the fears, remember God’s presence, and declare your “even ifs.”
Even if I fail, you are with me.
Even if I fall, you will catch me.
Even if I am persecuted or rejected, you accept me.
Even if I am humiliated or disgraced, you love me.
Even if people are negative or don’t like me, you delight in me.
Even if I am scared, confused, and shaking, I will follow you.
Take my hand, friend, and with our toes dangling off the edge, let’s take a great leap of faith into the arms of God.